I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
