It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
