Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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