watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
