Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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