Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
