She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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