yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
