i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize