what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
