dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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