love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
