i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
