What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
