Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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