yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
