Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
