I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
