I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i drank out of a bidet.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
