remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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