So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize