let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
