Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
