Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
