8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
