what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
