why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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