So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
