Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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