there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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