I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
