Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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