We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
