Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
