Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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