he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
