You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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