Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's like God shit irony all over that family
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
