If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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