She's JV to your varsity
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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