Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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