Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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