spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
