She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
