I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
