I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
