I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
