I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
