I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
