i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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