I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Someone came in the potted fern
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
