You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize