So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
