but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
