i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
