I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
