The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize