we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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