Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
