You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
we're so committed to being not committed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
