she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
