The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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