Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
