And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
