the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
